It’s like no matter what number hits my bank account, it’s still not enough for the work put in. That’s why I will stay on the mission to do things I love and find a way for those things to make money. No 9-5, 7-11 or 6-3 is worth your time if it doesn’t bring you happiness.
I’m starting to learn that it will always be difficult to work for anyone but yourself the older you get. No the bills won’t stop coming in because of your decisions, but it’s important to work all avenues until you make happiness your full time job.
If you ever sold drugs to pay the rent or just make sure your family ate, I have respect for you. I know that sounds wild, but hear me out. You took the ultimate gamble. You put your life and freedom on the line for fast money. Fast money that you are hoping will do good for you. Although, I have thought about it several times, I just haven’t gotten the fear out of my chest to do it. I’m probably definitely too old to start now. I respect your lack of fear for consequences and how your impatience at one point backed you up against the wall and you chose crime as an escape. I know, I know. Drugs poison the community and has contributed to destroying the black family and is “the easy way out” because you could work retail or fast food. The other thing I know is that when you have a family or just trying to eat and make it to work daily; Minimum wage and commission jobs don’t cut it every week. I would love to hit the block and make something happen to get me to at least a break even point. It’s just something in me that says “That’s not you, Cam. That’s not your path or purpose. Just hang on fam. It’s almost over.” So I don’t act on that urge to serve.
Moving forward everything will involve my desired level of long term happiness. I deserve it. No more of me saying “I’m doing what I got to do until I can do what I want to do”. Now it’s “I do what I want to do, because that makes me happy.”