New Mental Conditioning

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I want to share a moment in time, from literally an hour or 2 ago.

I was starving, tired and thinking about what I was going to eat. I felt the hunger fatigue taking over me and the only thing on my mind was this specialty sandwich from Potbelly. It’s been months since I had it and it wasn’t really a craving, but it was what was at the front of my mind.

I check out the menu online, look at the sandwich and think, “Yeah, I got to get that.” Then doubt and compromise start kicking in. Why not get something cheaper? Do you really want that? Why not wait until Friday or your birthday to enjoy it? Those questions begin to swirl in my mind and then I started trying to make myself hungry for something else. Anything else. Just trying to settle the questions in my mind, yet be satisfied with the decision I was about to make.

Then, I had a moment. I paused and said to myself “But the sandwich is what you really want and you have the money to get it. Why are you not going to get what you know would really satisfy you?” It was in that moment that I realized that I have conditioned myself to compromise and make due with whatever vs going after and getting what I truly want. It was almost like I was down to wait or just make peace with the idea of “one day getting it” and that I’d be fine with something or anything else. It made me mad at myself. It also made me think of all the other things I may be compromising or giving up on.

As an example. I’ve wanted a Chevy Tahoe for now over a decade. Within that decade I’ve had 3 cars/trucks. None of them have been a Chevy Tahoe. Whether it was gas prices or the price of the car itself, I’ve talked myself out of getting it every time. My mentality should be, “I want it and I’m going to make sure that I can afford it and everything that comes with it.” Instead it’s been “I really want it, but how am I going to get it now?” Thinking of all the problems instead of the solutions. Even yesterday, I seen a real nice truck in a cool color and since it was “cheaper than the Tahoe” and “I need a car now” I was going out of my way to figure out how to get that one vs the one I have always wanted.

At work, it became painfully obvious to me that I need to really stop wasting my time where I am and do things that genuinely make me happy. True, I want to work for me, but I’ve slowed down the progress on my 2nd job and that is truly something I want to do in the industry I belong in. I almost talked myself out of even doing my 2nd job this year, because “I didn’t see the benefit anymore.” The benefit was always, I love the atmosphere and environment of this industry. I just need to put in more work and keep climbing up the ladder with a little more patience.

I need to rid my body and mind of this sickness called settling and compromising. I want what I want. I am on a mission to get what I want. I’m no longer going to let anything get in my way of having everything that I want. Not even me.