The Arousal of Want

Image by kai kalhh from Pixabay

Since I’ve flipped the switch and put focus on getting exactly what I want, I’ve noticed a change in myself. I see opportunity over obstacle. I believe that I can have now vs later or not at all. I am in tune with a new vibration in myself that it is channeling different senses in me. It’s also possible that this is not really a change at all. Just awareness of what happens when I want with intent to get and actually believe and pay attention.

I seen this hat online. It caught my eye and felt like it was literally calling me. I look at it from every angle and said, “I want that. That’s hot! I’m going to get that.” As I spoke those words my next inhale was euphoric, semi orgasmic even. For the first time since I can remember, I looked at an item, made up my mind to get it and a moment was created. My inhale brought a vision of me in the hat. Where I would go in it and even pictures I would take.

I didn’t worry about the price, what I would have to do to get it or the worst, say “I can’t afford it” and then begin to look for something cheaper or log off and look at nothing at all. Registering that want was arousing. It heightened my senses, made me visualize and put me on a mission to complete a task. A task that won’t be denied. For the first time probably ever, I’ve looked at an item and it’s price and said, “bet I come up with that no problem.”

After looking at that hat, I seen shirts. Shirts that maybe a month ago I seen and said “they want too damn much for that” and now those same shirts became a doable purchase. Why? Cause they match the hat and well, Your shirt got to match your hat. Shoes too if you want to get that fly. Even as I added it up in my mind, I said “that’s barely one week of hustling and hard work. I got that.” It was refreshing to have that perspective vs the down feelings and sometimes literal depression of not getting something that I truly wanted. And the only person who ever said I couldn’t get it, was me. I’ve talked myself out of more wants than I can remember. And why? I never “made enough to get it one day” or always found another reason why I should wait a little longer. I work and hustle hard. Why do I not spoil myself? Why do I not believe I deserve to get nice things for me? That was a question I didn’t even know I had to answer until this week.

I been collecting pictures of things I’ve always wanted, but never got because “I felt I couldn’t have it” or “didn’t feel it was the right time to get it.” What I’ve realized is that was negative conditioning for me. It subconsciously taught me to settle and compromise. Dial back my desire. Waiver on my wants. Get what you say you can afford, not what truly catches your eye. It’s over for that. I’m on a path to spoil as I create victories. I’m going to entice and delight myself after a job well done and with money well earned. I am going to get exactly what I want in every aspect.

I think it’s a great part of mental conditioning too. If I can’t get the shirt, hat, jacket or shoes that I want. How will I get the vehicle, home and business I want? If I can’t get my little wants how on earth will I prepare for the big wants? They all take the same methodology. See it, believe you can get it, work towards it, acquire it. Doesn’t sound like that can coexist with settling, so I’m officially ridding my mind of settling. I will also rid my mind of compromise and waiting. I’ve waited long enough and you know what? One day never came and I’m sure that same amount of money or more went to something I either don’t remember getting or didn’t satisfy me as much as what I originally wanted.

I may be late to this party and school of thought, but the real festivities are only beginning. Rewards for my work and effort are in my sight and I have a beautiful view.

Advertisements