A Day of Uncertain Reflection

Since doing my taxes the other day, I felt like I may have made some key mistakes. Not on my taxes, but in life. I’m thinking about certain opportunities and things I said I wanted and didn’t get and I now wonder if I truly made a mistake.

Maybe I should have taken less because it probably will actually equate to more in current comparison. Maybe I truly haven’t earned all that I am asking for and expecting. Maybe it’s time for me to fall back and be even more patient for “my day” because today is obviously not “that day”.

It’s difficult to process, because when you believe in yourself and you want the best for yourself, you’re met with so much opposition. I feel like there has been too many times where people have tried to minimize me or sideshow me or just go out of their way to try and take me down a few notches and make me feel inferior. It sucks because it’s always someone with just a tad more power than I posses. Power is a crazy thing. It can make any man or woman feel they are worth their weight in gold. It can also make them feel as they are judge, jury and executioner of another persons worth and fate. I want to do for self, but that’s difficult to do with minimal resources. Resources have been my biggest opponent for far too long.

I’ve sat most of this day asking myself, what should I do? I’ve prayed and will pray again. Also going to take some time to meditate. I’m in need to feel true comfort and some relief. I can’t let whats outside destroy what’s inside.